I Get Fired A Lot

It’s weird seeing yourself portrayed on a fictional television show. Not getting-fire-breath-after-drinking-a-science-potion weird (happens more than you’d think) but, you know, weird nonetheless.

Anyone want a hamburger? I cooked them with my breath!

Anyone want a hamburger? I cooked it with my breath!

For example, this week’s episode of “Supergirl” featured a storyline where Mehcad Brooks’ Jimmy Olsen is in danger of getting fired from his job at CatCo for failing to use his Superman “bro hang” connection to get an exclusive interview with Supergirl, causing Mehcad-Jimmy to have Big Thoughts about Life and his place in it.



Now my job at the Daily Planet has been in jeopardy plenty of times. In fact, I’m almost perpetually in a state of being threatened with being fired, actually getting fired, being rehired, getting fired again, or quitting to join the circus (no really, I’ve joined the circus more times than anyone I know).



One time I grew four extra arms and my union rep told Perry White he needed pay me for doing the work of three people or let me go. Can you guess what Perry decided on?

Unions, am I right?

Unions, am I right?

Another time I got fired for dealing out some sick burns to that big old jerk Superman. Totally worth it.

Ha ha! Suck it, Snooperman!

Ha ha! Suck it, Snooperman!

I told them I was under the influence of an alien emotion opposting crystal life form.

I told them I was under the influence of an alien emotion oppostite-ing crystal life form.

Another time I got changed into a Human Porcupine and this mildly irritated my boss.

That photo was SUPER important, folks.

That photo was SUPER important, folks.

What did I do about it? Joined the mother-f***ing circus, of course!

It used to be a viable career...like the news.

It used to be a viable career…like the news.

My point is, the reasons I get fired are super-duper awesome. Not totally lame like not using my connections to book an interview. Even if that did happen, I certainly wouldn’t have an existential crisis about the whole thing. I’d quit in protest and then dress up like a woman and Tootsie my old job back!

Yeah! Everyone's hiring girls over men! Also, they love being called girls!

Yeah! Everyone’s hiring girls over men! Also, they love being called girls!

Oh, sure, Mehcad-Jimmy’s crisis fit in nicely with the episode’s themes about friendship and Mehcad-Jimmy’s speech about living in Superman’s shadow gave me ALL THE FEELS (is it still a thing to say “all the feels”?) but couldn’t the creators have Jimmy accidentally drink a magic potion and become a giant animal of some kind and have THAT be the reason why his job was in jeopardy? Or remove Cat’s teeth with a radioactive camera like I did with Perry White that one time?



I know it’s early on in the series but I’m getting the vibe the writers aren’t going to draw upon my vast history of amazing adventures and are only using me to be a super cool, sexy love interest who looks great even though he doesn’t wear bow ties or sweater vests. Also, I don’t believe Mehcad eats pizza.

The rest of the episode was good. Except when is Streaky the Supercat going to show up???? It’s episode 2 already!


I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.


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