Ms. Lane If You’re Nasty

Tonight’s episode of “Supergirl” features the first proper introduction of my sometime, not really girlfriend, Lucy Lane, into the mythos of the show and I hope they get it right. By “right” I mean not at all accurate because the truth is embarrassing.

Which type of "Mean Girl" is this again?

That was my fanciest purple dinner robe.

You see, I don’t like myself when I’m around Lucy. I honestly don’t know how anyone could like me around Lucy.

Oh, Grod, please get this foot out of my mouth.

Stop talking, Jummy. Just please stop talking.

Or like Lucy for that matter. Really, she’s a horrible person.

See?

No, really. She’s terrible.

She’s vain, selfish, materialistic, and fickle, constantly blowing off plans with me so she can go out with someone else.

Isn't she sweet?

Ain’t she sweet?

Oh, and she’s a nasty, ungrateful, gold-digging elitist. Imagine a human being as if they had been written by a couple of misogynistic dudes during the 1950s and that’s Lucy.

If I make her like me then maybe I'll have worth!

It bears repeating…GRRRR!

You’ve probably figured out that she’s Lois Lane’s sister (those Lane’s love their alliteration). She’s also a Flight Attendant which she apparently feels is comparable to flying around with an invincible man-god from another planet.

The Superman Museum is usually a great first date...and free every first Wednesday of the month!

The Superman Museum is usually a great first date…and it’s free every first Wednesday of the month!

The first time we met I finagled a double date with Lois and “Clark.” I use the term “date” loosely (it was more of a “group hang” that I paid for). We went to the Superman Restaurant. You remember that chain of mid-scale family dining where the balding waiters had to dress like Superman? Thank Grod those went out of business.

It was better than "Sizzler" at least.

It was better than “Sizzler” at least.

She was clearly not interested and wanted to cancel our next date to go out with some ” Famous Rodeo Stars.” Is that a thing?

Yes, "Clark" used his super-hearing to invade her privacy to get me this information.

Yes, “Clark” used his super-hearing to invade her privacy to get me this information.

The only way I can get her attention is if I get over her, move on, and start dating a gorgeous and/or giant alien space lady.

Physical attraction? √ Common Interests (i.e. me)? √ Both 200 foot Colossuses? MOST IMPORTANT.

Physical attraction? √ Common Interests (i.e. me)? √ Both 200 foot Colossuses? MOST IMPORTANT.

Oh, THEN she gets interested.

Yeah, you look into it, lady.

Yeah, you look into it, lady.

So why do I put up with it and keep coming back for more? Well, clearly I like a challenge. Also, I’m a glutton for punishment I guess… and perhaps judge my own self worth by how others see me. If I can make this terrible person be nice to me then I must be something special!

I called her as soon as I got home.

I called her as soon as I got home.