Investigative journalism is not without its risks. Aside from the low pay and dwindling ad rates it is not uncommon for a reporter to switch consciousness with a gorilla.
I know what you’re thinking: “But Jimmy, switching consciousness with a gorilla sounds like a very unusual occurrence.” Oh, yeah? Then why has it happened to me not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES???
The first time I switched bodies with a gorilla I was doing a fluff piece on a crackpot inventor. I do these a lot and never take the crackpots seriously despite the fact that I always let them experiment on me and ALWAYS end up with some kind of super power or life threatening condition for a day or two.
Case in point…
And wouldn’t you know it…
So what did I do? Well, naturally I consulted all the genius super-scientists I’ve met over the years to find a solution to the problem.
Nah. Just kidding. I put on some ill-fitting clothes and went to work. A gorilla’s gotta eat (a lot) and I can’t afford to take a day off (unlike definitely not off on the planet Apokolips fighting Darkseid “Clark”).
Yes, my coworkers did freak out at first but it took a surprisingly short amount of time to convince them not to have me shot and killed as a public menace.
Science isn’t the only way you can “Vice Versa” with a gorilla. Magic rings will do the trick too! Like the time I switched bodies with Congorilla!
Or like that other time I switched bodies with Congorilla!
There are probably other ways to switch bodies with a gorilla (i.e. brain transplant) but so far I’ve only had to deal with crackpot science and magic rings.
It always seems to work out in the end though and I’ve been able to return to my human form.
But every reporter knows it’s only a matter of time before they get stuck in an ape’s body forever and somewhere out there is a gorilla’s brain with their name on it.