Hi! My name is James Bartholomew Olsen. I used to be famous for being the “best boy pal” of a certain strange visitor from another planet. Nowadays I’m just a regular ole cub reporter in his mid-thirties wondering where all the years have gone (go to college, kids).
My life hasn’t been boring: I’ve been an Elastic Lad, a Giant Turtle Man, and even a Nazi Field Marshal (there’s a reasonable explanation). I’m here to share some of my stories and hopefully figure out a way to pivot out of the dying medium of print journalism and into the digital age. I should probably take the Nazi thing out of my bio, shouldn’t I?
So what can you expect from this blog? A lot of time has passed since I first met Superman and there’s a lot of dirt to dish and things to unpack. Also, probably some “Supergirl” TV show recaps.
WHY “RUBBER REPORT?”
One could say I wasted a LOT of time thinking the domain name for this blog. Don’t believe me? Here’s a sample:
OlsenReport – Because I’m a reporter and my last name is Olsen.
SuperReport – Because, you know, superheroes and stuff.
SuperDuperReport – “Super-duper!” is my catchphrase so…
SuperFiles – Like the X-files but about super stuff.
OlsenFiles – I like files.
CubBeat – I’m a Cub Reporter and this is my beat.
CubFiles – Again with the files.
ElasticTruth – I was Elastic Lad and I’m here to tell the truth!
GiantTurtleNews – Kind of liked this one.
GiantTurtleFiles – Again with the files.
GiantTurtleReport – You get the idea.
GiantTurtle – Did I mention I was a Giant Turtle Man?
OlsenTruth – Do I need to explain this one?
TeenSidekick – Too long, but accurate.
AgingSidekick – Too negative. You’re only as old as you feel.
ElasticReport – This was really word association at this point.
Olsency – I used a blog name generator and got this.
Sidechic – Like a sidekick who is chic.
ActionBeat – Because of “Action Comics.”
ActionReport – I can’t believe I wrote this one down.
RedKryptonite = weird stuff
Olsenite – Get it? I’m like my own Kryptonite?
RedOlsenite – Weird tales + Red hair + Red Kryptonite + Me
SuperTruth – Sounds too conspiracy nut.
jimmy-olsen – JimmyOlsen was already taken.
KidSidekick – Too many k’s.
DeadSidekick – Too dark.
RecklessSidekick – Too long + too many k’s.
RecklessKid – Okay, I googled “sidekick tropes.”
SuperOlsen – I had to have called myself this at some point.
SupergirlsBoy – Crassly trying to piggyback on the new show.
BestBoyPal – The creepy thing Superman calls me.
I’m a little disappointed a journalist such as yourself would still confuse here and hear.
Oof! It’s hard without the Daily Planet’s copy editing team!